Living in the Now: Epiphany

On the 13th day of Christmas, we celebrate Epiphany.  This is a sweet holiday for me, and the "rest of us" coming to the Light. 

It's also the day we take down our Christmas decorations, which have only been up since Christmas Eve.  How does anyone keep theirs up for the whole month of December?  Or even since THANKSGIVING?  Boy, I was already tired of Christmas. 

Returning to normal is such a relief, even if that requires defining a new normal in the new year.  When does this happen for you?

I hope it is not too irreverent, but we also have a traditional Epiphany meal of chicken curry.  It seems possible that the wise men might have liked their curry, and a little heat in the dead of winter goes a long way.  This is usually a shared dish with our Epiphany practicing family, with prayers for the new year, but this year we were all home bound with severe cold weather.  

How is your new chapter beginning this year? 

Living in the Now: Mom's Heart, Part 3

Celebrating motherhood, I'm excited to share some perspective from my own mom.  She is a super hero rock star in her own right, and gave me the best mother's day gift this year by compiling a few stories and advice. Read more about her background here. Part 3 is my favorite, uniting our sisterhood of women. Her real life experience blesses me, and I hope encourages you.  I'll let her tell you the story herself:

As I age, I realize how important it is to be in community with other women, walk alongside each other, bear each other’s burdens, share the joys in the ebb and flow of life. I have had the amazing opportunity to have friends that are willing to be transparent with  me, to allow who I am to be accepted, and to walk together still. We are refined and strengthened by our struggles, and our trials. Our laughter and joys are multiplied when we share them (women can have so much fun together!).

I encourage women to be real with each other, to get together and work together, to love each other’s children, to serve each other, talk about what we are learning, to encourage each other in the challenges, help to provide needs. There is a richness in working together. We need to encourage each other not to be tempted to pretend we are someone we aren’t.  

Living in the Now: Mom's Heart, Part 2

Celebrating motherhood, I'm excited to share some perspective from my own mom.  She is a super hero rock star in her own right, and gave me the best mother's day gift this year by compiling a few stories and advice. Read more about her background here. Part 2 gives you a glimpse of our average--but most meaningful--practical, daily moments. Her real life experience blesses me, and I hope encourages you.  I'll let her tell you the story herself:


Some super practical, totally true favorite moments we spent with Mom.

We are on a journey together, whether young or grown, dealing with the truth of our hearts. Our hearts are the wellspring of life. God desires our hearts to be devoted to Him. Loving isn’t all about us, but is all about others and the Lord. He gives us the greatest joy in this process.
 
I believe that caring for children, nurturing them to adulthood, is a precious journey. Some seasons are full of trials, others are more smooth sailing. I’ve learned to grasp the joy in a moment. I can be impulsive, spontaneous. If the day was pretty and I could we’d grab an opportunity. If it was cold and cloudy, we’d grab another. Many times, it depended on my mood (sorry kids). 

Each year in the fall, after a hard freeze, the trees really let go of their leaves. On the first windy, sunny, cool day after, we’d grab the cast iron skillet, some bacon and potatoes, and head to make a fire in the back yard. I’d send some kids to search for wild onions while getting a fire going with others. Then we’d lay in the yard on our backs, watching the leaves fall, while smelling our feast cooking. Sometimes we’d talk, other times, just peaceful quiet. (as the boys got older…we had more ‘interesting’ times around the fire, but that is another story)

We’d go to the library often. Then come home with our stacks of treasures, I mean books. We’d sit in the living room around the woodstove, with everybody content to be in their own world.  

Other times, we’d read chapter books together around that woodstove, drinking hot tea from the kettle on top. It gave me time to rest and feed an infant while snuggling with my older kids. If we didn’t have a fire, we’d light a candle. Fidgety children would draw pictures or fall asleep. It was peaceful, and we enjoyed a lot of stories together (I do like a good story).

A blessing in disguise, we didn’t have very good reception on our TV, so we watched other things a lot…sitting on the front porch watching a storm roll in, huddling around a closet watching a litter of kittens being born, watching baby chicks scurry to see who can get the grasshopper first (one of our favorite things to watch!), fireflies, the flame of a fire, all very peaceful and better than any TV show, in my opinion.

We’d head out for walks together on foot, or taking turns on our patient pony. That led to some good conversation, or comfortable quiet together. We’d camp on our property (lots easier than going away!), play board games, look through old photos and home videos, and play lots and lots of games.

We’d head to the lake to swim. Swimming is one of my favorite things, so I’d drag the kids along whether they liked it or not. We’d catch all kinds of living critters, ride in the canoe, and bring junk food for picnics.

Sometimes we’d just get the urge to make a big batch of pudding for supper…skip the main dish and go straight for the desert. And every Sunday evening we were home, we’d make lots of popcorn for supper.  

Things I wish I had done: Listen to their hearts more, draw them out, ask questions about what they were thinking, what they loved, etc. Spend purposeful time with one child on a regular basis. Cherished one child.

Somewhere in there, some of the kids grew up, finished their education, and are on their own now. They know my failures well. Thankfully, they don’t expect me to be perfect. 

We need to share our failures with them, to be vulnerable and human. Help model before them what is real, not what is in the magazines or TV shows. Real humanity, real sin, a real need for forgiveness. When we mess up, admit it and apologize, learn from each other’s mistakes, humility and forgiveness. They learn from our example, not our perceived perfection. Laugh, play, work, cherish.

In the picture of reality of our home, there was bickering, dirt, messes, chaos, endless dirty laundry, a never ending to do list, strife. But more than that, the laughter, family, friends, working and playing together, a bottomless amount of love, loyalty, forgiveness, balances it very well. It is on this journey of life that God does His work in our hearts. I’ve learned to be real, to give myself permission to be human (with my gifts and shortcomings), to stand with someone who is struggling, have people stand by me, to choose to see God’s many blessings, and enjoy them. To teach my children about deeper things of the heart. It is because of our humanity that Christ died for us.

The most important thing to me is to show my children that God loves us as we are, He redeems us. The striving can cease. We don’t have to get cleaned up before coming to him. We don’t have to ‘be’ anything else but who He has made us to be. I want to teach my children that to love the Lord isn’t to be perfect, but to follow Him.

 I believe that we need to know that we can fail and be loved. I think our children need to know this too. That their value isn’t what they ‘do,’ it is in who they are, who God has created them to be. Part of our jobs as mothers is to help them discover who that is, asking questions, and cultivating their gifts. Choosing to love when it is tough. My children have loved me and continue to love me when I am unlovable. 

Her Life Story: The Short Version

This is little peek into a few moments of Mom's life story.  Mom to eight kids.  Most determined woman I know.  Queen of DIY.  Stead-fast Christ follower.  Spunky with a sense of humor.  Constantly curious.  Out of this world cook--on a dime a day.  Gumption of an explorer.  Most beautiful smile there is.  In her own words:

My daughter has asked me to write a little in honor of mother’s day, so I agreed. I am grateful to be a mother to eight children, 4 boys and 4 girls (some grown, some still little), and a grandma to one very special grandson. They are all very precious and incredible individuals. Their gifts and personalities are all very unique, each a very special gift from the Lord. I cherish each and every one of them. Knowing and loving these people is a very rich experience. They have stretched me (not always pretty) far beyond where I thought I was capable. I am thankful for the privilege of nurturing these precious children. I enjoy them immensely and learn so much from them.  Much of what I’ve learned about mothering, I learned from my mom.

Mom is a devoted mom to 4 children, a grandma to 12 grandchildren, and a ‘great’ grandma to my grandson. She taught me to love in many ways. Throughout the years, she has been thoughtful and giving of herself. As well as caring for our needs, she somehow managed to provide little surprises for us along the way. As a mom, I now realize how much effort these ‘little’ surprises took, and wonder how in the world she fit them in to her busy days. I like to think of them as little celebrations of life and those we love. I am amazed as I walk through my own journey of motherhood and think of things she did in the midst of the responsibilities and struggles of her life. She found a way to pause, to bring joy into a day. I believe it was a choice for her, to intentionally take a moment and make it special, to choose to love in this way. She had a knack for turning a simple day into something really fun, taking a limited budget and providing good food and entertainment, a gift of love. These taught me to ‘celebrate’ in the midst of my own chaos, (I lack organizational skills) to look for joy in the sorrow and trials (the deepest joy is sometimes in the midst of our most difficult trials), and to cherish my own children, a gift from the Lord. I’ll share just a few of those memories.

For no apparent reason, Mom made us a treasure hunt. I have no recollection of what treasure was at the end, but I sure remember my brothers and my excitement as we followed clues and searched all over the house. It was great fun.

Mom provided each child with a little hiding place for a piece of candy or a coin (a coin could buy a lot of candy then), under a candlestick, a mug, a figurine. That place was ours alone, and we knew Mom was thinking of us when a surprise awaited us there.

We lived where we had some pretty amazing winters, and in the days where kids played outside most of the time (even in single digits!). We (my siblings, and the neighborhood kids) loved coming in to our house. We were cold, our fingers and toes were numb, and were hungry. We all knew that we would find yummy food, hot drinks, and a fire to sit around. (my father worked hard to see that we were always warm) Mom often fed us a special treat, peanut butter and jelly toasties with hot chocolate to drink. I’ve found a lot of people don’t know what they are, so I will explain. Take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and grill them like a grilled cheese sandwich, then sprinkle with powdered sugar. Kids and adults love them. After getting the hunger taken care of, we’d sit around and play games while our coats, gloves, and boots dried (there were a lot of those), then go out and repeat the whole process. My friends were impressed, and I was happy my mom was mine. Now that I’m a mom, I realize the effort and the gift of herself that she gave not only to her own children, but to the neighbor kids as well. 

She ‘let’ me cook beside her. I suspect that her goal was to teach me to cook, but she did it in such a way that I felt privileged to spend the time with her alone. (absolutely nothing came out of a box) Not only did my mom let me cook with her, but I remember a few special times around Christmas that we turned out all of the lights and cooked by candle light! What fun that was. How did she squeeze that into her evening, after a day of working to serve? I still haven’t figured that out!

We had everything we needed, my father saw to that. He worked hard to provide. Steady, serving, whistling. But we didn’t have a lot of extra money, so had to be creative with fun things. I learned from Mom how to take a moment and bring joy and spontaneity into it, to look at circumstances I can’t change, accept them, and find something to celebrate in the moment. Sometimes I just don’t have it in me to do this, I know that is okay too. At those times, we don’t celebrate (to say the least…you can fill in the rest).  These are just a few of the memories that I have of Mom giving of herself. There are many more.

Living in the Now: Consuming Food

This is a conservative formula for the past month.  There is often an extra mouth, not to mention the times we've eaten with a friends or family. My immediate family now numbers 14, so you can image the orchestration to just share our two birthday celebrations last month. Check it out:

3 Mouths per meal

3 Meals per day 

31 Days per month

----------------------

279 meals prepared in the month of March

Not to mention my needful morning coffee routine. Not to mention snacks. Not to mention second breakfasts. Not to mention helping friends. Not to mention...

HEAVENS.  There is freedom for me in realizing food is consuming. How could it not be? I'm thinking about food more hours than not. Researching good food (recipes, diets, restrictions).  Buying good food (grocery runs, coupon clipping, organizing my way-too-tiny pantry). Eating good food (breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bites in between).

What about you? Or am I just a food addict?

I have been completely committed to two ideas, at different times in my journey:

1. Food is a necessity.  Meals are important because creates space for communion together.  Thinking too much about food shows you have an eating problem. Being fed is a practical, yet often inconvenient task.

2. Food creates space for worship. Most of the time, I can't NOT think about food. God gave me a body needful of good food. I'm going to worship Him by eating deliberately completely, fully, and well. 

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Psalm 34:8

 Could it be that tasting--eating--is a way for us to see how good the Lord is?  That it teaches us to take safety in His faithfulness?  Can we really worship while feeding our faces?  God, give me the heart that eats in a way honoring to You.

Living in the Now: Making Choices

It's 2:00 in the afternoon.  I wish you were here to see the polite, quiet struggle.  While I've had an extremely productive day checking off responsibilities, Someone has been slightly less productive.  Quietly, respectfully, he refuses to work on his school. Purely won't pick up the pencil. 

A little less quietly, he has clearly refused all food offered, and somehow that was the breaking point for me.  He used to be such a good little eater, and this insane pickiness, this overwhelming stubbornness, hurts my pride.

Ah, there's the root. 

Its somehow shocking that I can't force him to make good choices.  And eating wholesome food, lovingly prepared from scratch, being served with a kiss and a smile...he won't choose it. His undying stubbornness to sit at the table, on strike, for this many hours is unsettling. Lord have mercy, what will he be like when he's 15?!

In the meantime, I'm committed to letting home be a place where it is safe to make choices--good or bad. A safe environment to live out what you choose, going hungry or grazing.  How much more my Father does for me, a mindless sheep in His pasture: 

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23: 5-6

How do you coach your little one into making good choices? How do you let go of pride and humbly walk with God?  This has been an ongoing battle for months.  We've probably tried the basic ideas, so dig deeper.  Input needed.

Book Review: Family Celebration at Easter, Ann Hibbard

Practical, approachable, and applicable for family devotions, this simple book is a great guide through the Lenten and Easter seasons. Used copies of Family Celebrations at Easter are selling on amazon.com for as little as a penny. Best used with children kindergarten aged and older, this devotion guides the family with a biblical based gospel. 

Each day holds a short story, reading of a biblical passage, several family discussion questions, a prayer, a hymn (arrangement is included in the back of the book), and further study ideas. To help the whole family remember the journey through the season, an appropriate symbol represents that day's passage. These symbol patterns can be scanned from the book for coloring. Other mediums can be used (felt, ornament-style for an Easter tree, collection of items from around the house, etc.). 

I appreciate that these symbols begin with a clear understanding of our need for a Savior, and then shows how God sent a Savior. Also included is specific information and a guide for celebrating Passover, or Sedar.

Overall, this is a very user friendly book for the whole family to use year after year. Having been raised on this series, and now raising my son with these symbols, I greatly treasure the accessibility, truth, and joy of God's Word.

Practically Speaking: Special Menus

There are a few ideas that will not only save you money, but they will also enable you to give more easily of yourself. Adapting these for your own will create space for you to easily give of yourself--and enjoy doing it:

1. Master a simple repertoire of recipes: main dish, side, dessert.
2. Keep all basic ingredients on hand at all times.

Whether I have company drop in, a home bound friend, or a hankering to fellowship at my own table, it is much easier to be available when I already have a game plan. I'm a pretty simple cook, so I've used several recipes as my "company" recipes, often a hearty soup or easily transportable casserole. Make ahead for yourself to enjoy on those "off" days.

Keep your pantry well-stocked with necessary items. For me, this often means keeping a cake or brownie mix on hand, or making sure to keep my pantry items stocked. Nothing is more stressful than realizing I'm out of sugar--or eggs! A running grocery list on the fridge helps this. Don't be afraid to keep mixes or easy to prepare options on hand (frozen bread, soup mix, etc.), especially if you're comfortable adapting them into an even better recipe.

Holiday Planner: 5 easy steps

Start the new year off with a plan to celebrate family and loved ones! Create your own holiday binder so that generous space is created for family milestones. With a centralized plan, traditions can be remembered and future ideas can be saved. Use your binder in the weeks leading up to, during, and following a holiday.

1. Buy a 3", 3-ring binder and 10 subject index tab system--or larger. Zip lock binder baggies are helpful for loose recipes and notes, too.
2. Label your index tabs in sequential order. I start with the church new year of Advent, but do what works for you. Try Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Valentines, Easter, Pentecost, Birthday, Gifts, Seasons (winter, spring, summer, fall).
3. Make a basic outline for each holiday (traditions, favorite foods, etc.). Re-use templates that help you plan ahead. Always make extra copies for next holiday!
4. During the holiday, check your plan and make adaptations as needed.
5. After the holiday, make notes of what worked, what didn't work, and if there is something you hope to add next year. Even a sticky note is a helpful memory jog 365 days from now!