A new book

This is a new chapter.  Or maybe a new book altogether.  This conversation has been silent for a long, often disorienting period.  I need to pick it back up as a simple discipline of humility, a practice in seeing the transforming work of my walk with God.  Hopefully, this will give you some space to ponder and walk in worship.  Like all reasonable people, let's start with a cup of coffee.

Living in the Now: Food Swap

Pondering the soulful knitting between eating and being, I wanted to hear how you handle the daily logistics of good eating.  My little rut-full system always needs updates and fresh ideas.  Especially, have you:

• jumped on the once a month cooking bandwagon, shopping and prepping a whole month's worth at a time to simplify your routine?
• found a fabulous frozen entree (not that I would ever serve it to you, but sometime I want a night off)?
• found a good rhythm for favorite meal rotations?
• stashed your favorite staples in the pantry?
• juggled dietary restrictions for the whole family without driving anyone crazy?

Your ideas will help me, and maybe save my little family a bit of peace!

Living in the Now: Mom's Heart, Part 2

Celebrating motherhood, I'm excited to share some perspective from my own mom.  She is a super hero rock star in her own right, and gave me the best mother's day gift this year by compiling a few stories and advice. Read more about her background here. Part 2 gives you a glimpse of our average--but most meaningful--practical, daily moments. Her real life experience blesses me, and I hope encourages you.  I'll let her tell you the story herself:


Some super practical, totally true favorite moments we spent with Mom.

We are on a journey together, whether young or grown, dealing with the truth of our hearts. Our hearts are the wellspring of life. God desires our hearts to be devoted to Him. Loving isn’t all about us, but is all about others and the Lord. He gives us the greatest joy in this process.
 
I believe that caring for children, nurturing them to adulthood, is a precious journey. Some seasons are full of trials, others are more smooth sailing. I’ve learned to grasp the joy in a moment. I can be impulsive, spontaneous. If the day was pretty and I could we’d grab an opportunity. If it was cold and cloudy, we’d grab another. Many times, it depended on my mood (sorry kids). 

Each year in the fall, after a hard freeze, the trees really let go of their leaves. On the first windy, sunny, cool day after, we’d grab the cast iron skillet, some bacon and potatoes, and head to make a fire in the back yard. I’d send some kids to search for wild onions while getting a fire going with others. Then we’d lay in the yard on our backs, watching the leaves fall, while smelling our feast cooking. Sometimes we’d talk, other times, just peaceful quiet. (as the boys got older…we had more ‘interesting’ times around the fire, but that is another story)

We’d go to the library often. Then come home with our stacks of treasures, I mean books. We’d sit in the living room around the woodstove, with everybody content to be in their own world.  

Other times, we’d read chapter books together around that woodstove, drinking hot tea from the kettle on top. It gave me time to rest and feed an infant while snuggling with my older kids. If we didn’t have a fire, we’d light a candle. Fidgety children would draw pictures or fall asleep. It was peaceful, and we enjoyed a lot of stories together (I do like a good story).

A blessing in disguise, we didn’t have very good reception on our TV, so we watched other things a lot…sitting on the front porch watching a storm roll in, huddling around a closet watching a litter of kittens being born, watching baby chicks scurry to see who can get the grasshopper first (one of our favorite things to watch!), fireflies, the flame of a fire, all very peaceful and better than any TV show, in my opinion.

We’d head out for walks together on foot, or taking turns on our patient pony. That led to some good conversation, or comfortable quiet together. We’d camp on our property (lots easier than going away!), play board games, look through old photos and home videos, and play lots and lots of games.

We’d head to the lake to swim. Swimming is one of my favorite things, so I’d drag the kids along whether they liked it or not. We’d catch all kinds of living critters, ride in the canoe, and bring junk food for picnics.

Sometimes we’d just get the urge to make a big batch of pudding for supper…skip the main dish and go straight for the desert. And every Sunday evening we were home, we’d make lots of popcorn for supper.  

Things I wish I had done: Listen to their hearts more, draw them out, ask questions about what they were thinking, what they loved, etc. Spend purposeful time with one child on a regular basis. Cherished one child.

Somewhere in there, some of the kids grew up, finished their education, and are on their own now. They know my failures well. Thankfully, they don’t expect me to be perfect. 

We need to share our failures with them, to be vulnerable and human. Help model before them what is real, not what is in the magazines or TV shows. Real humanity, real sin, a real need for forgiveness. When we mess up, admit it and apologize, learn from each other’s mistakes, humility and forgiveness. They learn from our example, not our perceived perfection. Laugh, play, work, cherish.

In the picture of reality of our home, there was bickering, dirt, messes, chaos, endless dirty laundry, a never ending to do list, strife. But more than that, the laughter, family, friends, working and playing together, a bottomless amount of love, loyalty, forgiveness, balances it very well. It is on this journey of life that God does His work in our hearts. I’ve learned to be real, to give myself permission to be human (with my gifts and shortcomings), to stand with someone who is struggling, have people stand by me, to choose to see God’s many blessings, and enjoy them. To teach my children about deeper things of the heart. It is because of our humanity that Christ died for us.

The most important thing to me is to show my children that God loves us as we are, He redeems us. The striving can cease. We don’t have to get cleaned up before coming to him. We don’t have to ‘be’ anything else but who He has made us to be. I want to teach my children that to love the Lord isn’t to be perfect, but to follow Him.

 I believe that we need to know that we can fail and be loved. I think our children need to know this too. That their value isn’t what they ‘do,’ it is in who they are, who God has created them to be. Part of our jobs as mothers is to help them discover who that is, asking questions, and cultivating their gifts. Choosing to love when it is tough. My children have loved me and continue to love me when I am unlovable. 

Her Life Story: The Short Version

This is little peek into a few moments of Mom's life story.  Mom to eight kids.  Most determined woman I know.  Queen of DIY.  Stead-fast Christ follower.  Spunky with a sense of humor.  Constantly curious.  Out of this world cook--on a dime a day.  Gumption of an explorer.  Most beautiful smile there is.  In her own words:

My daughter has asked me to write a little in honor of mother’s day, so I agreed. I am grateful to be a mother to eight children, 4 boys and 4 girls (some grown, some still little), and a grandma to one very special grandson. They are all very precious and incredible individuals. Their gifts and personalities are all very unique, each a very special gift from the Lord. I cherish each and every one of them. Knowing and loving these people is a very rich experience. They have stretched me (not always pretty) far beyond where I thought I was capable. I am thankful for the privilege of nurturing these precious children. I enjoy them immensely and learn so much from them.  Much of what I’ve learned about mothering, I learned from my mom.

Mom is a devoted mom to 4 children, a grandma to 12 grandchildren, and a ‘great’ grandma to my grandson. She taught me to love in many ways. Throughout the years, she has been thoughtful and giving of herself. As well as caring for our needs, she somehow managed to provide little surprises for us along the way. As a mom, I now realize how much effort these ‘little’ surprises took, and wonder how in the world she fit them in to her busy days. I like to think of them as little celebrations of life and those we love. I am amazed as I walk through my own journey of motherhood and think of things she did in the midst of the responsibilities and struggles of her life. She found a way to pause, to bring joy into a day. I believe it was a choice for her, to intentionally take a moment and make it special, to choose to love in this way. She had a knack for turning a simple day into something really fun, taking a limited budget and providing good food and entertainment, a gift of love. These taught me to ‘celebrate’ in the midst of my own chaos, (I lack organizational skills) to look for joy in the sorrow and trials (the deepest joy is sometimes in the midst of our most difficult trials), and to cherish my own children, a gift from the Lord. I’ll share just a few of those memories.

For no apparent reason, Mom made us a treasure hunt. I have no recollection of what treasure was at the end, but I sure remember my brothers and my excitement as we followed clues and searched all over the house. It was great fun.

Mom provided each child with a little hiding place for a piece of candy or a coin (a coin could buy a lot of candy then), under a candlestick, a mug, a figurine. That place was ours alone, and we knew Mom was thinking of us when a surprise awaited us there.

We lived where we had some pretty amazing winters, and in the days where kids played outside most of the time (even in single digits!). We (my siblings, and the neighborhood kids) loved coming in to our house. We were cold, our fingers and toes were numb, and were hungry. We all knew that we would find yummy food, hot drinks, and a fire to sit around. (my father worked hard to see that we were always warm) Mom often fed us a special treat, peanut butter and jelly toasties with hot chocolate to drink. I’ve found a lot of people don’t know what they are, so I will explain. Take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and grill them like a grilled cheese sandwich, then sprinkle with powdered sugar. Kids and adults love them. After getting the hunger taken care of, we’d sit around and play games while our coats, gloves, and boots dried (there were a lot of those), then go out and repeat the whole process. My friends were impressed, and I was happy my mom was mine. Now that I’m a mom, I realize the effort and the gift of herself that she gave not only to her own children, but to the neighbor kids as well. 

She ‘let’ me cook beside her. I suspect that her goal was to teach me to cook, but she did it in such a way that I felt privileged to spend the time with her alone. (absolutely nothing came out of a box) Not only did my mom let me cook with her, but I remember a few special times around Christmas that we turned out all of the lights and cooked by candle light! What fun that was. How did she squeeze that into her evening, after a day of working to serve? I still haven’t figured that out!

We had everything we needed, my father saw to that. He worked hard to provide. Steady, serving, whistling. But we didn’t have a lot of extra money, so had to be creative with fun things. I learned from Mom how to take a moment and bring joy and spontaneity into it, to look at circumstances I can’t change, accept them, and find something to celebrate in the moment. Sometimes I just don’t have it in me to do this, I know that is okay too. At those times, we don’t celebrate (to say the least…you can fill in the rest).  These are just a few of the memories that I have of Mom giving of herself. There are many more.

Practically Speaking: Light a Candle

Remember the times we strike a match to light a candle as we mark an event:

• Eucharist and liturgical,
• Paschal and baptismal,
• Wedding and ceremony,
• Emergency and storm,
• Romantic dinner,
• Birthday cake.

Can you think of other times?  Lighting a candle is soulful, a deliberate ritual that causes thoughtful pause.  Bring this simple act into your daily reminds that ordinary is extraordinary.  Breathe.  God is here, right now.  His light shines in the darkness. Out of the chaos of darkness, He created order.  Not only can you see a candle burn, if you are completely quiet, you can hear a candle burn. 

Try bringing this sweet practice into your family time.  Kids thrive on ritual, on setting aside special time.  Wait until all are ready to sit at the table for dinner, then have someone light a candle.  A moment of quiet brings attention to the now that is being shared.  Or, try lighting a candle for prayer time.  Especially for children (or ADD adults!), it helps to focus our hearts and minds on one object, to quiet wandering minds and worried thoughts, opening our eyes to see.  

Each time you light a candle, remember the romance and thrill of all the extra special times candles are lit: celebrating new life, celebrating communion, celebrating vows.

Ironically, as I write this, its Friday afternoon when our spiritual cousins are making preparations for Sabbath.  When the table candles are lit, the past week's worries, routine, and ordinariness are marked past.  For a single day, the all-sufficiency of God's grace is celebrated.  The mere idea is romantic and idyllic, even if it sometimes requires discipline and focus to not work.  Claim this sweet ritual as your own, strike a match and be in God's presence.

Living in the Now: Consuming Food

This is a conservative formula for the past month.  There is often an extra mouth, not to mention the times we've eaten with a friends or family. My immediate family now numbers 14, so you can image the orchestration to just share our two birthday celebrations last month. Check it out:

3 Mouths per meal

3 Meals per day 

31 Days per month

----------------------

279 meals prepared in the month of March

Not to mention my needful morning coffee routine. Not to mention snacks. Not to mention second breakfasts. Not to mention helping friends. Not to mention...

HEAVENS.  There is freedom for me in realizing food is consuming. How could it not be? I'm thinking about food more hours than not. Researching good food (recipes, diets, restrictions).  Buying good food (grocery runs, coupon clipping, organizing my way-too-tiny pantry). Eating good food (breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bites in between).

What about you? Or am I just a food addict?

I have been completely committed to two ideas, at different times in my journey:

1. Food is a necessity.  Meals are important because creates space for communion together.  Thinking too much about food shows you have an eating problem. Being fed is a practical, yet often inconvenient task.

2. Food creates space for worship. Most of the time, I can't NOT think about food. God gave me a body needful of good food. I'm going to worship Him by eating deliberately completely, fully, and well. 

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Psalm 34:8

 Could it be that tasting--eating--is a way for us to see how good the Lord is?  That it teaches us to take safety in His faithfulness?  Can we really worship while feeding our faces?  God, give me the heart that eats in a way honoring to You.

Living in the Now: 6 Ideas for Simple Hospitality

There's one thing for sure about living in community with others: community happens rarely with notice.  The neighbor that pops in, the friend who hopes for a chat, or an unexpected emergency occurs.  Living together usually has no script.  I've had my share of unexpected, stressful moments.  Shockingly, it often leads to irrational resentment. 

Instead, know that moment is coming.  Make a plan to be fully present, to create space to hear the Spirit lead you in relationship with this person.  Pray as you serve.  Even a sweet sentence of blessing as your pour a drink will remind you of the God Who is now-here.

When it comes to stress-free hospitality of food, keep a few of these ideas on hand:

1. A Southern woman knows how to make a real glass of ice tea.  Master it.  Offer it often.
2. Lemonade mix is super simple and satisfying for those wild, little rascals from the neighborhood.  Make your place be the favorite hang out. Oh, and send it outside.
3. Keep a few basic mixes on hand (cookie, cake, side dishes).  You'll be more likely to share if you can whip it up quick.
4. Stash your favorite jarred sauce (mariana, pesto, white sauce), and keep pasta on hand.  I've never met a soul who would turn down a fresh meal of pasta.  You're more likely to invite someone to dinner last-minutely if you already have a plan.
5. Have a couple "go to" casserole recipes for shut-ins.  My favorites make a double batch and can be frozen ahead of time: they'll eat one, and I'll keep one.  Sending food suddenly is good for everyone.
6. Bring a tasty morsel to that meeting you kind of dread.  Cookies go a long way in lightening a heavy load.  Don't count on bringing any home.

What's up with "being"?

The idea of "being" is based heavily on Brother Lawrence's, The Practice of the Presence of God (Download your own copy here). Being in God's presence is my breath. Your life, and my life, will be in stark contrast to one another.  If we aren't careful, we believe the lie that we should finish our check lists, race through scheduling, and run an efficient life so that at the end of the day, we can worship God.  Instead, I choose to purposefully live in the truth that living is breathing worship, a relationship with the God who is now-here. 

Brother Lawrence's fourth conversation brings such to light:

"He told me that all consists in one hearty renunciation of everything which does not lead us to God in order that we may accustom ourselves to a continual conversation with Him, with freedom and in simplicity. 

"That we need only to recognize God intimately present with us, and to address ourselves to Him every moment, that we may beg His assistance for knowing His will in things doubtful, and for rightly performing those which we plainly see He requires of us; offering them to Him before we do them, and giving Him thanks when we have done. 

"That in this conversation with God we are also employed in praising, adoring, and loving Him unceasingly, for His infinite goodness and perfection... That our sanctification did not depend upon changing our works, but in doing for God's sake which commonly we do for our own...

"That the most excellent method he had found of going to God was that of doing our common business without any view of pleasing man (Galatians 1:10; Ephesians 6:5) and, (as far as we are capable) purely for the love of God."

Living in the Now: Path of Forgiveness

The longer I live (and I'm really not that old), the more I realize that forgiveness is not a simple journey.  More often than not, it is generally a choice to forgive an oblivious offender.  If confronted, they might be clueless.  Awkward.  They also might be offended, for in forgiving, you suggest their sin.  Carelessly, I've often become the arrogant "hero" by offering my "gift" of grace.  Being together, being with me, is tough.

The rare picture of forgiveness, when a friend comes to me and asks forgiveness (usually my husband, the most humble person I know), is the exception to the rule.  Rare indeed. 

Thus, typically the Spirit convicts and I finally realize my bitterness that destroys.  Journeying on the path of forgiveness, I step toward loving that often unaware offender with selfless, undeserved love.  Unnatural, the pain in laying down my life is redeemed in new life, one step at a time.  The commonness of this pattern does not make the journey of death to self, undeserved grace toward my brother, any lighter.  Grieving.

Wait. 

Does this reflect my relationship with God?  In the deepest place of my heart, what do I really think about undeserved grace? Do I carry this attitude that my offense against Him is small?  How many times have I not followed the Spirit's promptings in conviction?  That I might not even ask for forgiveness, might not even desire reconciliation? The gall.

St. Francis suggests that extending undeserved grace is the same journeying path as receiving God's grace.  Oh God, give me the heart to travel willingly, trusting:

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Practically Speaking: Morning Rhythms

Confession: I'm a coffee-holic (shocking, I know). I have an espresso machine (Krupps 865), standard coffee machine, two french presses, one stove top coffee maker, instant Starbucks coffee (just in case), and can make a mean cup of drip coffee through a funnel. When camping, I'm as careful to plan my morning coffee routine as I am to pack my tent. Secretly, I scorn those who cannot man up enough to drink coffee strong and straight up black. Coffee is serious business. I've never given up coffee for Lent, and 2012 is not the year either.

All this nerdy confession points to the sweet bit of Sabbath I've found along the way. In my world, recovering from a heavy night of sleep requires a moment of numb, motionless rest first thing out of bed. If I'm not careful, I get stuck in this moment. 

In my early morning weakness, I'm learning to have my coffee machine pre-measured and raring to go in the morning. Slothing through the kitchen generally requires a mere flip of the switch, relieving the stress of decision making. Who knew that planning ahead--even laying out my favorite coffee mug--gives me a moment of relief first thing in the morning? Watching that dark drip reminds me of God's provision, how His love pours and provides and energizes. That's usually a deep enough thought to begin the day.

And, if I pair coffee and scripture, I'm more likely to begin my day with total refreshment, without sacrificing either, or adding to any stress. My mini-Sabbath is doubly refreshing and centering. What's your morning rhythm?

Practically Speaking: Special Menus

There are a few ideas that will not only save you money, but they will also enable you to give more easily of yourself. Adapting these for your own will create space for you to easily give of yourself--and enjoy doing it:

1. Master a simple repertoire of recipes: main dish, side, dessert.
2. Keep all basic ingredients on hand at all times.

Whether I have company drop in, a home bound friend, or a hankering to fellowship at my own table, it is much easier to be available when I already have a game plan. I'm a pretty simple cook, so I've used several recipes as my "company" recipes, often a hearty soup or easily transportable casserole. Make ahead for yourself to enjoy on those "off" days.

Keep your pantry well-stocked with necessary items. For me, this often means keeping a cake or brownie mix on hand, or making sure to keep my pantry items stocked. Nothing is more stressful than realizing I'm out of sugar--or eggs! A running grocery list on the fridge helps this. Don't be afraid to keep mixes or easy to prepare options on hand (frozen bread, soup mix, etc.), especially if you're comfortable adapting them into an even better recipe.

Thanksgiving: Now and Always

Now and always.

Almighty God, Father of all mercies, we your unworthy servants give you most humble and sincere thanks for all your goodness and loving-kindness to us and to all people; We bless you for our creation, preservation, ad all the blessings of this life; but, above all, for your immeasurable love in the redemption of the world by our Lord Jesus Christ, for the means of grace and for the hope of glory. Give us, we pray, such a sense of all y our mercies that our hearts may be sincerely thankful, so that we declare your praise not only with our lips, but also in our lives, by giving up ourselves to your service, and by walking before you in holiness and righteousness all our days; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit, be all honor and glory, forever and ever. Amen.

Living in the Now: Present Worship

A subtle trap tends to ensnare me. I clean to "create space" for friends to visit. I reorganize to "create space" for smooth preparations. I straighten to "create space" for downtime with God. All this labor can lead me into a future I never experience fulfilled.

There is a security in that, as my little categories have an even more defining line: family time, friends time, God time. Thank God they don't overlap, because that would be much too complicated....

Wait, did I just say that out loud?

The twist I'm learning to claim as truth: cleaning, reorganizing, and straightening are acts of worship. Instead of doing them so that I can have time to worship, I'm learning to participate as an act of worship. God is there with me as I de-calcify my espresso machine. He is there as I take out the trash. He is there as I scrub the toilet. He is very present. 

Brother Lawrence (at first resentful of his lowly kitchen position in the monastary) said, "We can do little things for God. I turn the case that is frying on the pan for love of Him, and that done, if there is nothing else to call me, I prostrate myself in worship before Him, who has given me grace to work; afterwards I rise happier than a king. It is enough for me to pick up but a straw from the ground for the love of God."

Desiring a familiar, constant conversation with God, I'm praying:

O God, since you are right here in this daily moment with me, I choose to commit my ways to this task at hand. Grant, I pray, that I may continue in Your presence, and fully experience You in the now-here. Amen.