A subtle trap tends to ensnare me. I clean to "create space" for friends to visit. I reorganize to "create space" for smooth preparations. I straighten to "create space" for downtime with God. All this labor can lead me into a future I never experience fulfilled.
There is a security in that, as my little categories have an even more defining line: family time, friends time, God time. Thank God they don't overlap, because that would be much too complicated....
Wait, did I just say that out loud?
The twist I'm learning to claim as truth: cleaning, reorganizing, and straightening are acts of worship. Instead of doing them so that I can have time to worship, I'm learning to participate as an act of worship. God is there with me as I de-calcify my espresso machine. He is there as I take out the trash. He is there as I scrub the toilet. He is very present.
Brother Lawrence (at first resentful of his lowly kitchen position in the monastary) said, "We can do little things for God. I turn the case that is frying on the pan for love of Him, and that done, if there is nothing else to call me, I prostrate myself in worship before Him, who has given me grace to work; afterwards I rise happier than a king. It is enough for me to pick up but a straw from the ground for the love of God."
Desiring a familiar, constant conversation with God, I'm praying:
O God, since you are right here in this daily moment with me, I choose to commit my ways to this task at hand. Grant, I pray, that I may continue in Your presence, and fully experience You in the now-here. Amen.