Changes that Heal: Henry Townsend

 

Shared from Henry Cloud's latest FB status update.  It it weren't so long, I need it embroidered on my pillow for daily reading. #1 is really applicable in my life right now. How about you?

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In my book "Changes That Heal," I talked about a developmental path that we all travel to get to maturity. It involves four steps:

1) The ability to get connected 2) The ability to have boundaries 3) The ability to put "good and bad" together 4) The ability to be an adult.

TIme for a little check up for you. Ask yourself the following questions in the four areas today:
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1. How connected do I feel to some significant people in my life? If not, what can I do to increase my connection? Reach out? Join? Get more proactive? Or is it more overcoming internal fear or resistance? What is my next growth step?

2. How in control of my own life do I feel? Who does it feel is controlling me? Why am I not saying no? Where is my next growth step in creating a healthy limit with someone?

3. What idealized image am I suffering under, unable to accept the good and the bad? Is it with myself or with others? Or both? Where am I attacking myself for not being "good enough" and feel as if I am "all bad" for my mistakes or imperfections? Where am I doing that to someone else? What steps do I need to take towards acceptance of both the good and the bad and dealing with both?

4. How much of an equal adult do I feel like I am with others? Do I feel "one down" some or the time? Why? What do I need to do to express my adulthood? Or, am I assuming the parent role with some other adult and not requiring adulthood from them as well as trying to dominate them? Where do I need to let them be an equal?

Good questions to ask.....for more about this see "Changes That Heal."

Cheers,

Henry