Her Life Story: The Short Version

This is little peek into a few moments of Mom's life story.  Mom to eight kids.  Most determined woman I know.  Queen of DIY.  Stead-fast Christ follower.  Spunky with a sense of humor.  Constantly curious.  Out of this world cook--on a dime a day.  Gumption of an explorer.  Most beautiful smile there is.  In her own words:

My daughter has asked me to write a little in honor of mother’s day, so I agreed. I am grateful to be a mother to eight children, 4 boys and 4 girls (some grown, some still little), and a grandma to one very special grandson. They are all very precious and incredible individuals. Their gifts and personalities are all very unique, each a very special gift from the Lord. I cherish each and every one of them. Knowing and loving these people is a very rich experience. They have stretched me (not always pretty) far beyond where I thought I was capable. I am thankful for the privilege of nurturing these precious children. I enjoy them immensely and learn so much from them.  Much of what I’ve learned about mothering, I learned from my mom.

Mom is a devoted mom to 4 children, a grandma to 12 grandchildren, and a ‘great’ grandma to my grandson. She taught me to love in many ways. Throughout the years, she has been thoughtful and giving of herself. As well as caring for our needs, she somehow managed to provide little surprises for us along the way. As a mom, I now realize how much effort these ‘little’ surprises took, and wonder how in the world she fit them in to her busy days. I like to think of them as little celebrations of life and those we love. I am amazed as I walk through my own journey of motherhood and think of things she did in the midst of the responsibilities and struggles of her life. She found a way to pause, to bring joy into a day. I believe it was a choice for her, to intentionally take a moment and make it special, to choose to love in this way. She had a knack for turning a simple day into something really fun, taking a limited budget and providing good food and entertainment, a gift of love. These taught me to ‘celebrate’ in the midst of my own chaos, (I lack organizational skills) to look for joy in the sorrow and trials (the deepest joy is sometimes in the midst of our most difficult trials), and to cherish my own children, a gift from the Lord. I’ll share just a few of those memories.

For no apparent reason, Mom made us a treasure hunt. I have no recollection of what treasure was at the end, but I sure remember my brothers and my excitement as we followed clues and searched all over the house. It was great fun.

Mom provided each child with a little hiding place for a piece of candy or a coin (a coin could buy a lot of candy then), under a candlestick, a mug, a figurine. That place was ours alone, and we knew Mom was thinking of us when a surprise awaited us there.

We lived where we had some pretty amazing winters, and in the days where kids played outside most of the time (even in single digits!). We (my siblings, and the neighborhood kids) loved coming in to our house. We were cold, our fingers and toes were numb, and were hungry. We all knew that we would find yummy food, hot drinks, and a fire to sit around. (my father worked hard to see that we were always warm) Mom often fed us a special treat, peanut butter and jelly toasties with hot chocolate to drink. I’ve found a lot of people don’t know what they are, so I will explain. Take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and grill them like a grilled cheese sandwich, then sprinkle with powdered sugar. Kids and adults love them. After getting the hunger taken care of, we’d sit around and play games while our coats, gloves, and boots dried (there were a lot of those), then go out and repeat the whole process. My friends were impressed, and I was happy my mom was mine. Now that I’m a mom, I realize the effort and the gift of herself that she gave not only to her own children, but to the neighbor kids as well. 

She ‘let’ me cook beside her. I suspect that her goal was to teach me to cook, but she did it in such a way that I felt privileged to spend the time with her alone. (absolutely nothing came out of a box) Not only did my mom let me cook with her, but I remember a few special times around Christmas that we turned out all of the lights and cooked by candle light! What fun that was. How did she squeeze that into her evening, after a day of working to serve? I still haven’t figured that out!

We had everything we needed, my father saw to that. He worked hard to provide. Steady, serving, whistling. But we didn’t have a lot of extra money, so had to be creative with fun things. I learned from Mom how to take a moment and bring joy and spontaneity into it, to look at circumstances I can’t change, accept them, and find something to celebrate in the moment. Sometimes I just don’t have it in me to do this, I know that is okay too. At those times, we don’t celebrate (to say the least…you can fill in the rest).  These are just a few of the memories that I have of Mom giving of herself. There are many more.

Living in the Now: 6 Ideas for Simple Hospitality

There's one thing for sure about living in community with others: community happens rarely with notice.  The neighbor that pops in, the friend who hopes for a chat, or an unexpected emergency occurs.  Living together usually has no script.  I've had my share of unexpected, stressful moments.  Shockingly, it often leads to irrational resentment. 

Instead, know that moment is coming.  Make a plan to be fully present, to create space to hear the Spirit lead you in relationship with this person.  Pray as you serve.  Even a sweet sentence of blessing as your pour a drink will remind you of the God Who is now-here.

When it comes to stress-free hospitality of food, keep a few of these ideas on hand:

1. A Southern woman knows how to make a real glass of ice tea.  Master it.  Offer it often.
2. Lemonade mix is super simple and satisfying for those wild, little rascals from the neighborhood.  Make your place be the favorite hang out. Oh, and send it outside.
3. Keep a few basic mixes on hand (cookie, cake, side dishes).  You'll be more likely to share if you can whip it up quick.
4. Stash your favorite jarred sauce (mariana, pesto, white sauce), and keep pasta on hand.  I've never met a soul who would turn down a fresh meal of pasta.  You're more likely to invite someone to dinner last-minutely if you already have a plan.
5. Have a couple "go to" casserole recipes for shut-ins.  My favorites make a double batch and can be frozen ahead of time: they'll eat one, and I'll keep one.  Sending food suddenly is good for everyone.
6. Bring a tasty morsel to that meeting you kind of dread.  Cookies go a long way in lightening a heavy load.  Don't count on bringing any home.

What's up with "being"?

The idea of "being" is based heavily on Brother Lawrence's, The Practice of the Presence of God (Download your own copy here). Being in God's presence is my breath. Your life, and my life, will be in stark contrast to one another.  If we aren't careful, we believe the lie that we should finish our check lists, race through scheduling, and run an efficient life so that at the end of the day, we can worship God.  Instead, I choose to purposefully live in the truth that living is breathing worship, a relationship with the God who is now-here. 

Brother Lawrence's fourth conversation brings such to light:

"He told me that all consists in one hearty renunciation of everything which does not lead us to God in order that we may accustom ourselves to a continual conversation with Him, with freedom and in simplicity. 

"That we need only to recognize God intimately present with us, and to address ourselves to Him every moment, that we may beg His assistance for knowing His will in things doubtful, and for rightly performing those which we plainly see He requires of us; offering them to Him before we do them, and giving Him thanks when we have done. 

"That in this conversation with God we are also employed in praising, adoring, and loving Him unceasingly, for His infinite goodness and perfection... That our sanctification did not depend upon changing our works, but in doing for God's sake which commonly we do for our own...

"That the most excellent method he had found of going to God was that of doing our common business without any view of pleasing man (Galatians 1:10; Ephesians 6:5) and, (as far as we are capable) purely for the love of God."

Book Review: Martha Stewart's Homekeeping Handbook

Disclaimer: It takes a lot of courage to say Martha Stewart is my homekeeping hero, since many of my dearest friends would rather die than read a word by Omnimedia. Let me just say I love that her ideas, her recipes, her plans, always work the first time. No adjustment needed. Brilliant!

Martha Stewart's Homekeeping Handbook is the ultimate, hefty bible for more than you ever wanted to know. I suggest buying this book for those upcoming wedding showers, as it is sleek, beautiful, practical, and timeless. Hardbound and heavy enough to kill an intruder, illustrations and instructions are given for organization, cleaning, maintenance, and planning. The stress and money saved by properly caring for your possessions will be well worth the read, and well worth the gifting. The charts are easy to use, fully comprehensive, and are simple to follow. The black and white illustrations are beautiful enough to frame. If anything, let this guide help you create space to be in your lovely home. As the dedication states,

"To all mothers and daughters,

fathers and sons

who have a room, an apartment,

or a home to care for."  

That's pretty much all of us. By far, this is the best of Martha Stewart. My hero.

Living in the Now: Keeping Lent

Lenten fasting is the ultimate practice of creating space for being: deliberately making room to be with the God Who is very now-here. This is a season of being in relationship with God, rather than crossing the fine line of sacrificing a guilty pleasure to learn more about God.

My 98-year old wise mentor said we would all have our hands full for the season of Lent if we truly practiced Sabbath keeping. "Why is everyone so afraid of rest?," she asked. She's totally right.

This challenge was set before our congregation:

This Lenten season, let's consider abstaining from a source of comfort that would be a substitute for God. Let's also consider taking up the discipline of moving toward one another in community.

Both sound pretty uncomfortable. And relevant. This is my Lent to learn to blurt my opinion less often, and hear more quickly. To ask better questions of my neighbors, to make space to hear God's answers.  Practice dying to self, and to hear God's heart.

Practically Speaking: Special Menus

There are a few ideas that will not only save you money, but they will also enable you to give more easily of yourself. Adapting these for your own will create space for you to easily give of yourself--and enjoy doing it:

1. Master a simple repertoire of recipes: main dish, side, dessert.
2. Keep all basic ingredients on hand at all times.

Whether I have company drop in, a home bound friend, or a hankering to fellowship at my own table, it is much easier to be available when I already have a game plan. I'm a pretty simple cook, so I've used several recipes as my "company" recipes, often a hearty soup or easily transportable casserole. Make ahead for yourself to enjoy on those "off" days.

Keep your pantry well-stocked with necessary items. For me, this often means keeping a cake or brownie mix on hand, or making sure to keep my pantry items stocked. Nothing is more stressful than realizing I'm out of sugar--or eggs! A running grocery list on the fridge helps this. Don't be afraid to keep mixes or easy to prepare options on hand (frozen bread, soup mix, etc.), especially if you're comfortable adapting them into an even better recipe.

Practically Speaking: Wrestling Sunrise Doubts

This is a picture of a Smoky Mountain sunrise. Not long ago, I wouldn't have recognized such abnormality, because I most definitely am not a morning person. When my sweet husband began going to work at 5:30AM each day (the middle of the night, I'm thinking), I felt this guilty tug when I didn't hit the ground running with him. Then, I realized a few other fears:

• Will I die if I get up that early?
• What happens if I finish my to-do list? 
• How will it feel to wait three hours before little feet hit the floor?
• How early will I have to go to bed in the evening?
• What if I start inventing jobs just to be "busy"?

Bottom line: why NOT get up at 5:30AM?

Granted, I don't get up that early every day. Striving for faithfulness, not perfection. But now that I'm wrestling with these fears, I'm finding it to be very good. This weird season of having little heavy stress and wide spans of open time has revealed a lot of unsettled peace that I've needed to hash. Its good to wrestle. First thing in the morning. God is very now-here, in this very moment, even when it is so quiet I'm a little lost and wandering.

Practically Speaking: Holy Days 2012

Regardless if you keep an electronic or paper calendar, don't forget to add the holy days for 2012! While some calendars will have major holy days, remembering minor holy days will enrich your worship. Creating space to remember these days will open your heart for God's powerful movement.

Holiday Planner: 5 easy steps

Start the new year off with a plan to celebrate family and loved ones! Create your own holiday binder so that generous space is created for family milestones. With a centralized plan, traditions can be remembered and future ideas can be saved. Use your binder in the weeks leading up to, during, and following a holiday.

1. Buy a 3", 3-ring binder and 10 subject index tab system--or larger. Zip lock binder baggies are helpful for loose recipes and notes, too.
2. Label your index tabs in sequential order. I start with the church new year of Advent, but do what works for you. Try Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Valentines, Easter, Pentecost, Birthday, Gifts, Seasons (winter, spring, summer, fall).
3. Make a basic outline for each holiday (traditions, favorite foods, etc.). Re-use templates that help you plan ahead. Always make extra copies for next holiday!
4. During the holiday, check your plan and make adaptations as needed.
5. After the holiday, make notes of what worked, what didn't work, and if there is something you hope to add next year. Even a sticky note is a helpful memory jog 365 days from now!

Book Review: Simplify Your Holidays, Marcia Ramsland

While the last 8 weeks of holiday season are fresh in your memory, check out Simplify Your Holidays, by Marcia Ramsland. Find it on amazon.com for as little as $3.65, used. This system helps me remember details from year to year, plus offers flexible templates and customized plans. A bit of feedback:

AUTHOR: Ramsland is my home-making hero. I re-read her books for focused simplifying and practical organizing. Her website is helpful and streamlined.

FORMAT: Impractical because this is an odd, medium-sized, 3-ring binder. The rings in the original binding were quickly broken. Transferring the contents to my large, holiday binder was an easy solution. This lets me easily slip lists, copied templates, and annual updates into the binder chapters.

CONTENT: The thoughts are practical and simple to use. The templates are worth the price of the book, as there are four separate organization plans from which to choose. Pick what works for you this year, and you still have a solid game plan. Focusing your holiday vision into practical terms is a true life-saver.

MY FAVORITE: The templates! Can be copied, scanned, or edited. 

THE CATCH: The binding bugs me! Impractical.

Living in the Now: Rethinking tradition

Because of very different family traditions during the Christmas season, my sweetie and I have had some major upheaval in finding compromise. Hot tears, heavy angst. Your imagination can fill in the details.

Being good Anglicans, although thickheaded, it sank in that Advent is traditionally separate from Christmas. Advent begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas day (November 27 this year). Advent marks the beginning of the church calendar. Advent is often marked as a time of fasting, waiting, preparing, and creating space for a deeper relationship with God. 

Christmas begins on December 25th.

By letting both seasons stand separately, we've found a much more rich season of simplicity. This is our third season separating the seasons, and again, we're finding rest, preparedness, and excitement. Waiting is hard, and does not come naturally to my immature spirit. Which is a good reason to practice.

Living in the Now: Present Worship

A subtle trap tends to ensnare me. I clean to "create space" for friends to visit. I reorganize to "create space" for smooth preparations. I straighten to "create space" for downtime with God. All this labor can lead me into a future I never experience fulfilled.

There is a security in that, as my little categories have an even more defining line: family time, friends time, God time. Thank God they don't overlap, because that would be much too complicated....

Wait, did I just say that out loud?

The twist I'm learning to claim as truth: cleaning, reorganizing, and straightening are acts of worship. Instead of doing them so that I can have time to worship, I'm learning to participate as an act of worship. God is there with me as I de-calcify my espresso machine. He is there as I take out the trash. He is there as I scrub the toilet. He is very present. 

Brother Lawrence (at first resentful of his lowly kitchen position in the monastary) said, "We can do little things for God. I turn the case that is frying on the pan for love of Him, and that done, if there is nothing else to call me, I prostrate myself in worship before Him, who has given me grace to work; afterwards I rise happier than a king. It is enough for me to pick up but a straw from the ground for the love of God."

Desiring a familiar, constant conversation with God, I'm praying:

O God, since you are right here in this daily moment with me, I choose to commit my ways to this task at hand. Grant, I pray, that I may continue in Your presence, and fully experience You in the now-here. Amen.