Her Life Story: The Short Version

This is little peek into a few moments of Mom's life story.  Mom to eight kids.  Most determined woman I know.  Queen of DIY.  Stead-fast Christ follower.  Spunky with a sense of humor.  Constantly curious.  Out of this world cook--on a dime a day.  Gumption of an explorer.  Most beautiful smile there is.  In her own words:

My daughter has asked me to write a little in honor of mother’s day, so I agreed. I am grateful to be a mother to eight children, 4 boys and 4 girls (some grown, some still little), and a grandma to one very special grandson. They are all very precious and incredible individuals. Their gifts and personalities are all very unique, each a very special gift from the Lord. I cherish each and every one of them. Knowing and loving these people is a very rich experience. They have stretched me (not always pretty) far beyond where I thought I was capable. I am thankful for the privilege of nurturing these precious children. I enjoy them immensely and learn so much from them.  Much of what I’ve learned about mothering, I learned from my mom.

Mom is a devoted mom to 4 children, a grandma to 12 grandchildren, and a ‘great’ grandma to my grandson. She taught me to love in many ways. Throughout the years, she has been thoughtful and giving of herself. As well as caring for our needs, she somehow managed to provide little surprises for us along the way. As a mom, I now realize how much effort these ‘little’ surprises took, and wonder how in the world she fit them in to her busy days. I like to think of them as little celebrations of life and those we love. I am amazed as I walk through my own journey of motherhood and think of things she did in the midst of the responsibilities and struggles of her life. She found a way to pause, to bring joy into a day. I believe it was a choice for her, to intentionally take a moment and make it special, to choose to love in this way. She had a knack for turning a simple day into something really fun, taking a limited budget and providing good food and entertainment, a gift of love. These taught me to ‘celebrate’ in the midst of my own chaos, (I lack organizational skills) to look for joy in the sorrow and trials (the deepest joy is sometimes in the midst of our most difficult trials), and to cherish my own children, a gift from the Lord. I’ll share just a few of those memories.

For no apparent reason, Mom made us a treasure hunt. I have no recollection of what treasure was at the end, but I sure remember my brothers and my excitement as we followed clues and searched all over the house. It was great fun.

Mom provided each child with a little hiding place for a piece of candy or a coin (a coin could buy a lot of candy then), under a candlestick, a mug, a figurine. That place was ours alone, and we knew Mom was thinking of us when a surprise awaited us there.

We lived where we had some pretty amazing winters, and in the days where kids played outside most of the time (even in single digits!). We (my siblings, and the neighborhood kids) loved coming in to our house. We were cold, our fingers and toes were numb, and were hungry. We all knew that we would find yummy food, hot drinks, and a fire to sit around. (my father worked hard to see that we were always warm) Mom often fed us a special treat, peanut butter and jelly toasties with hot chocolate to drink. I’ve found a lot of people don’t know what they are, so I will explain. Take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and grill them like a grilled cheese sandwich, then sprinkle with powdered sugar. Kids and adults love them. After getting the hunger taken care of, we’d sit around and play games while our coats, gloves, and boots dried (there were a lot of those), then go out and repeat the whole process. My friends were impressed, and I was happy my mom was mine. Now that I’m a mom, I realize the effort and the gift of herself that she gave not only to her own children, but to the neighbor kids as well. 

She ‘let’ me cook beside her. I suspect that her goal was to teach me to cook, but she did it in such a way that I felt privileged to spend the time with her alone. (absolutely nothing came out of a box) Not only did my mom let me cook with her, but I remember a few special times around Christmas that we turned out all of the lights and cooked by candle light! What fun that was. How did she squeeze that into her evening, after a day of working to serve? I still haven’t figured that out!

We had everything we needed, my father saw to that. He worked hard to provide. Steady, serving, whistling. But we didn’t have a lot of extra money, so had to be creative with fun things. I learned from Mom how to take a moment and bring joy and spontaneity into it, to look at circumstances I can’t change, accept them, and find something to celebrate in the moment. Sometimes I just don’t have it in me to do this, I know that is okay too. At those times, we don’t celebrate (to say the least…you can fill in the rest).  These are just a few of the memories that I have of Mom giving of herself. There are many more.

Living in the Now: Mom's Heart, Part 1

Celebrating motherhood, I'm excited to share some perspective from my own mom.  She is a super hero rock star in her own right, and gave me the best mother's day gift this year by compiling a few stories and advice. Read more about her background here. Part 1 tells the story of nurturing and journeying with your children.  Her real life experience blesses me, and I hope encourages you.  I'll let her tell you the story herself:

When I was young, a wise mentor taught me some things that affected my thinking. She taught me that children are a blessing, not an inconvenience, not a burden. Believing this has resulted in an attitude of thankfulness in my heart, through days and nights when I didn’t know if I could really do the job I was called to do.  This simple truth has filled my heart with joy throughout the seasons (I think joy and happy are different). The overall job of nurturing their little minds, souls & bodies gave me a sense of joy that the trials couldn’t defeat (although attempted).

Kiddos are a lot of work. They come to us 24/7 and are very needy. Through many years of being stretched, sleepless nights, challenging behavior (mine & theirs!), I felt very overwhelmed at times. Sometimes it seemed as though we did the same thing every day, like we weren’t getting anywhere. The responsibilities and trials of life can be daunting at times. Sometimes it was so hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. I learned to walk through those hard times, pressing on in the direction my heart was called to. The Lord gave me strength to continue, sometimes just for the next hour. He also gave me a deep conviction of my calling and the gift these precious people were. In this was an underlying joy in my journey. I am so thankful I realized that at a young age.

So, real life is full of messes everywhere, work calling us, projects needing to be tackled, diapers, meals, meals, and more meals, laundry, cleaning, playing (yes, playing is part of our job, yeah!), shoes everywhere (but not where they are supposed to be, and rarely a pair together), teaching, training moments, deep heart discussions late at night (forget that you have to get up early, grasp this, they are the best!) Some homes are orderly, mine is orderly some time, at others, I have no clue what happened!  

We can make a purposeful choice to look for joy in the journey. A choice to pause and to see. To gaze upon sweet little face, and smile.  To thank the Lord for piles of dirty dishes. We ate, we were full.  When the laundry room is full of dirty clothes, I can choose to see God’s provision, or the endless piles. I can make a choice to see the blessings, or the drudgery. (isn’t any career this way?) My work is much easier when I choose to let my heart choose thankfulness. I try to take time to stop and to not only allow, but to treasure reality in my home. It is a fleeting season, full of life and what comes with life.

I think that the most valuable things in life cannot be bought. Some of the sweet, simple things I shared with my children brought joy to my heart, and I hope theirs. Sometimes I had to snatch time from our responsibilities to get them. If I had waited to plan them, few would have come about.  I chose to walk away from a messy house, close a door to a messy bedroom, made a simpler supper, let the laundry wait (yes, it does reproduce), etc. It wasn’t always easy for me to take time out in the midst of responsibilities, a big part of me wanted to get them done. But now that I have 4 grown children, I am so glad we did. Choosing to nurture this way is sometimes hard because you can’t check it off your list, the visual accomplishment isn’t there. Our culture tells us we have to accomplish this or that (I do a good job of telling myself this too). Nurturing children is seldom obvious, but one of the most valuable things we can invest in our children, and probably one of their greatest needs.