Her Life Story: The Short Version

This is little peek into a few moments of Mom's life story.  Mom to eight kids.  Most determined woman I know.  Queen of DIY.  Stead-fast Christ follower.  Spunky with a sense of humor.  Constantly curious.  Out of this world cook--on a dime a day.  Gumption of an explorer.  Most beautiful smile there is.  In her own words:

My daughter has asked me to write a little in honor of mother’s day, so I agreed. I am grateful to be a mother to eight children, 4 boys and 4 girls (some grown, some still little), and a grandma to one very special grandson. They are all very precious and incredible individuals. Their gifts and personalities are all very unique, each a very special gift from the Lord. I cherish each and every one of them. Knowing and loving these people is a very rich experience. They have stretched me (not always pretty) far beyond where I thought I was capable. I am thankful for the privilege of nurturing these precious children. I enjoy them immensely and learn so much from them.  Much of what I’ve learned about mothering, I learned from my mom.

Mom is a devoted mom to 4 children, a grandma to 12 grandchildren, and a ‘great’ grandma to my grandson. She taught me to love in many ways. Throughout the years, she has been thoughtful and giving of herself. As well as caring for our needs, she somehow managed to provide little surprises for us along the way. As a mom, I now realize how much effort these ‘little’ surprises took, and wonder how in the world she fit them in to her busy days. I like to think of them as little celebrations of life and those we love. I am amazed as I walk through my own journey of motherhood and think of things she did in the midst of the responsibilities and struggles of her life. She found a way to pause, to bring joy into a day. I believe it was a choice for her, to intentionally take a moment and make it special, to choose to love in this way. She had a knack for turning a simple day into something really fun, taking a limited budget and providing good food and entertainment, a gift of love. These taught me to ‘celebrate’ in the midst of my own chaos, (I lack organizational skills) to look for joy in the sorrow and trials (the deepest joy is sometimes in the midst of our most difficult trials), and to cherish my own children, a gift from the Lord. I’ll share just a few of those memories.

For no apparent reason, Mom made us a treasure hunt. I have no recollection of what treasure was at the end, but I sure remember my brothers and my excitement as we followed clues and searched all over the house. It was great fun.

Mom provided each child with a little hiding place for a piece of candy or a coin (a coin could buy a lot of candy then), under a candlestick, a mug, a figurine. That place was ours alone, and we knew Mom was thinking of us when a surprise awaited us there.

We lived where we had some pretty amazing winters, and in the days where kids played outside most of the time (even in single digits!). We (my siblings, and the neighborhood kids) loved coming in to our house. We were cold, our fingers and toes were numb, and were hungry. We all knew that we would find yummy food, hot drinks, and a fire to sit around. (my father worked hard to see that we were always warm) Mom often fed us a special treat, peanut butter and jelly toasties with hot chocolate to drink. I’ve found a lot of people don’t know what they are, so I will explain. Take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and grill them like a grilled cheese sandwich, then sprinkle with powdered sugar. Kids and adults love them. After getting the hunger taken care of, we’d sit around and play games while our coats, gloves, and boots dried (there were a lot of those), then go out and repeat the whole process. My friends were impressed, and I was happy my mom was mine. Now that I’m a mom, I realize the effort and the gift of herself that she gave not only to her own children, but to the neighbor kids as well. 

She ‘let’ me cook beside her. I suspect that her goal was to teach me to cook, but she did it in such a way that I felt privileged to spend the time with her alone. (absolutely nothing came out of a box) Not only did my mom let me cook with her, but I remember a few special times around Christmas that we turned out all of the lights and cooked by candle light! What fun that was. How did she squeeze that into her evening, after a day of working to serve? I still haven’t figured that out!

We had everything we needed, my father saw to that. He worked hard to provide. Steady, serving, whistling. But we didn’t have a lot of extra money, so had to be creative with fun things. I learned from Mom how to take a moment and bring joy and spontaneity into it, to look at circumstances I can’t change, accept them, and find something to celebrate in the moment. Sometimes I just don’t have it in me to do this, I know that is okay too. At those times, we don’t celebrate (to say the least…you can fill in the rest).  These are just a few of the memories that I have of Mom giving of herself. There are many more.

Practically Speaking: Light a Candle

Remember the times we strike a match to light a candle as we mark an event:

• Eucharist and liturgical,
• Paschal and baptismal,
• Wedding and ceremony,
• Emergency and storm,
• Romantic dinner,
• Birthday cake.

Can you think of other times?  Lighting a candle is soulful, a deliberate ritual that causes thoughtful pause.  Bring this simple act into your daily reminds that ordinary is extraordinary.  Breathe.  God is here, right now.  His light shines in the darkness. Out of the chaos of darkness, He created order.  Not only can you see a candle burn, if you are completely quiet, you can hear a candle burn. 

Try bringing this sweet practice into your family time.  Kids thrive on ritual, on setting aside special time.  Wait until all are ready to sit at the table for dinner, then have someone light a candle.  A moment of quiet brings attention to the now that is being shared.  Or, try lighting a candle for prayer time.  Especially for children (or ADD adults!), it helps to focus our hearts and minds on one object, to quiet wandering minds and worried thoughts, opening our eyes to see.  

Each time you light a candle, remember the romance and thrill of all the extra special times candles are lit: celebrating new life, celebrating communion, celebrating vows.

Ironically, as I write this, its Friday afternoon when our spiritual cousins are making preparations for Sabbath.  When the table candles are lit, the past week's worries, routine, and ordinariness are marked past.  For a single day, the all-sufficiency of God's grace is celebrated.  The mere idea is romantic and idyllic, even if it sometimes requires discipline and focus to not work.  Claim this sweet ritual as your own, strike a match and be in God's presence.

Living in the Now: 6 Ideas for Simple Hospitality

There's one thing for sure about living in community with others: community happens rarely with notice.  The neighbor that pops in, the friend who hopes for a chat, or an unexpected emergency occurs.  Living together usually has no script.  I've had my share of unexpected, stressful moments.  Shockingly, it often leads to irrational resentment. 

Instead, know that moment is coming.  Make a plan to be fully present, to create space to hear the Spirit lead you in relationship with this person.  Pray as you serve.  Even a sweet sentence of blessing as your pour a drink will remind you of the God Who is now-here.

When it comes to stress-free hospitality of food, keep a few of these ideas on hand:

1. A Southern woman knows how to make a real glass of ice tea.  Master it.  Offer it often.
2. Lemonade mix is super simple and satisfying for those wild, little rascals from the neighborhood.  Make your place be the favorite hang out. Oh, and send it outside.
3. Keep a few basic mixes on hand (cookie, cake, side dishes).  You'll be more likely to share if you can whip it up quick.
4. Stash your favorite jarred sauce (mariana, pesto, white sauce), and keep pasta on hand.  I've never met a soul who would turn down a fresh meal of pasta.  You're more likely to invite someone to dinner last-minutely if you already have a plan.
5. Have a couple "go to" casserole recipes for shut-ins.  My favorites make a double batch and can be frozen ahead of time: they'll eat one, and I'll keep one.  Sending food suddenly is good for everyone.
6. Bring a tasty morsel to that meeting you kind of dread.  Cookies go a long way in lightening a heavy load.  Don't count on bringing any home.

What's up with "being"?

The idea of "being" is based heavily on Brother Lawrence's, The Practice of the Presence of God (Download your own copy here). Being in God's presence is my breath. Your life, and my life, will be in stark contrast to one another.  If we aren't careful, we believe the lie that we should finish our check lists, race through scheduling, and run an efficient life so that at the end of the day, we can worship God.  Instead, I choose to purposefully live in the truth that living is breathing worship, a relationship with the God who is now-here. 

Brother Lawrence's fourth conversation brings such to light:

"He told me that all consists in one hearty renunciation of everything which does not lead us to God in order that we may accustom ourselves to a continual conversation with Him, with freedom and in simplicity. 

"That we need only to recognize God intimately present with us, and to address ourselves to Him every moment, that we may beg His assistance for knowing His will in things doubtful, and for rightly performing those which we plainly see He requires of us; offering them to Him before we do them, and giving Him thanks when we have done. 

"That in this conversation with God we are also employed in praising, adoring, and loving Him unceasingly, for His infinite goodness and perfection... That our sanctification did not depend upon changing our works, but in doing for God's sake which commonly we do for our own...

"That the most excellent method he had found of going to God was that of doing our common business without any view of pleasing man (Galatians 1:10; Ephesians 6:5) and, (as far as we are capable) purely for the love of God."

Living in the Now: Keeping Lent

Lenten fasting is the ultimate practice of creating space for being: deliberately making room to be with the God Who is very now-here. This is a season of being in relationship with God, rather than crossing the fine line of sacrificing a guilty pleasure to learn more about God.

My 98-year old wise mentor said we would all have our hands full for the season of Lent if we truly practiced Sabbath keeping. "Why is everyone so afraid of rest?," she asked. She's totally right.

This challenge was set before our congregation:

This Lenten season, let's consider abstaining from a source of comfort that would be a substitute for God. Let's also consider taking up the discipline of moving toward one another in community.

Both sound pretty uncomfortable. And relevant. This is my Lent to learn to blurt my opinion less often, and hear more quickly. To ask better questions of my neighbors, to make space to hear God's answers.  Practice dying to self, and to hear God's heart.

Living in the Now: Being Present

Living in the "now" is a good wrestle; tiring, molding, and satisfying. My "now" spans boundless time, days on end, carrying very little stress, and bringing constant quiet. My past, pounding to-do list has shaped me much more than I realized. At first, I thought that I had forgotten how to be fully present, how to breathe worship. On second thought, maybe I never found that heart.

For me, its tough not to live in the past; those experiences that have shaped. Its difficult to not live in the future; those possibilities that are unknown. I hide in piling on the projects, reorganizing that closet for the umpteenth time, and refining some sort of method. Right now, the "now-here" is where God has placed me. Saying this out loud is one thing, but claiming peace while speaking it has been a tough chew.

Journey with me. Let go of the habitual thinking of, "Wow, it must be nice to be YOU....". We cheapen each other's journey in this thought. Worse, we discount our own.

My prayer is to be here, now--which asks me to look full into the face of Christ, to see His passion for me, to see His heart, to trust completely. Lord, grant me the courage to be in the now-here, with fullness of heart. Teach me to abide.