"I find myself wondering again and again what it would be like actually to live every moment of one's life with an awareness of God..." D. Allen

November 14, 2011

Living in the Now: Secret Confession

Ok, important disclaimer. This is a tiny thought in proportion (like 2%) to the other true thoughts that weight much heavier in my mind (98&), so you need not think I'm just horrid. You need not correct my thoughts, because I don't feel very teachable right now.

There is a part of me that really dreads Thanksgiving. It is a difficult holiday to develop my own family's traditions. After the on average five Thanksgiving meals all over East TN,  I shudder at the thought of extending any other effort. Its such a tired holiday by the time the weekend is over. There is very little to "do" on this holiday, besides watch football (which I still don't understand), watch an old classic (nostalgic, but we have the loud genes; watching "Its a Wonderful Life" and not hearing a word is disappointing), or nap (YES).

While we are expected at all family meals, I must fairly admit they generously spread out the celebrations, making every meal physically possible (this might be a curse, not a blessing...). But I've always wondered, if we lived out of state would we still be expected to make the family rounds? 

We have been known to write all family off by just leaving and going to the beach. Very clean, very nice.

My friend politely challenged me to just say "no" to whichever celebration I most dread. It was the most shocking thing I've ever considered. The sun might not rise. Maybe I need to be needed in the tradition. Or, maybe its worth giving up a bit of what I prefer, knowing it means so much to other family members. Not to mention all of our other family holidays never feel stressful, so maybe I shouldn't complain since it could always be worse.

This year's compromise: stash a special pie, buy a big bottle of wine, and watch "Step Brothers" with our favorite friends at the end of the marathon. Who, it turns out, feel exactly like we do. We will rendezvous at sunset, satisfied that we have loved our family the way they want, and delighted to eat pie without any rules or editing. The best of both worlds.

Celebrating survival.